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How and Why Did We Develop Our Fantasies?

 
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Rick



Joined: 26 Feb 2006
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Sep Wed 06, 2017 3:20 pm    Post subject: How and Why Did We Develop Our Fantasies? Reply with quote

I do not recall this subject ever being discussed either on this website or on GMans' old website but I assume that most of us are rather curious about it. I'd like to see members of our community discuss it.

As for me, I started to have my fantasies at the about the age of ten. I had a perfectly normal childhood and have no idea at all how or why they began. This was in the 1940s (I'm now 81!) and my fantasies were nurtured by the old film noir movies of that period where the bad girl always got her just rewards. However, they were not the origin of those fantasies.

At the age of 45 I had divorced and was interested in finding a new life partner. I had never told my first wife about my fantasies but decided I'd be honest about it and not keep it a secret in the future. I anticipated that the first question would be "Have you ever sought professional help?" so for about a year I discussed my fantasies with a psychiatrist. She (I was more comfortable with a female) was of absolutely no help at all - we just discussed dreams. This was well before I realized others shared similar fantasies but she apparently wasn't aware of that.

So, everybody, what's your take on this?
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Big O



Joined: 18 Jun 2009
Posts: 6718
Location: Los Angeles

PostPosted: Sep Wed 06, 2017 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I developed my interests at the age of 5, so the hell if I know. I just think it is wiring! I happen to like this fetish, while others dig fat people, bondage, S&M, odd sex acts...etc, etc., etc. I think we are all just wired to like different things...And I think there are way more people interested in DS than are willing to admit it! IMHO
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Thrill Killer



Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Posts: 2938
Location: PACIFIC N.W/

PostPosted: Sep Wed 06, 2017 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yes Oh yes Rick, a fellow 81 yr old. Good to know I'm not the only OLD FART here.
I guess it all probably got its start when I was in my pre-teen years in the mid 1940's. We lived in a housing project that was so popular in those days but the yards were all fenced off so it was fine. Our house had a nice wooden board fence painted white all across the back and most of both sides. It was the part in the back that had my interest because living right behind us was a family that had a really slender very young teen age daughter. Most of all her tummy was very firm, toned and flat. Because this was in southern Calif. most of the time the wash was hung out side to dry and that seemed to be her job for her family. I would keep a keen eye out and when I saw that was taking place I'd sneak out behind out garage and get really close to the fence so I could look between the boards that over time had separated a bit between each one. If I was quite and kept low I could look as she reached up to hang the wet cloths her top would pull up exposing her perfect belly and navel above the low jeans she would always seem to wear. More often than not just seeing her belly stretched like that would cause me to get a erection and sometimes even masturbate. Damn she was so sexy and at times I really guessed she knew I was watching and, well like I said pleasuring myself. I say that because her bedroom was in the back of their house and at night with the lights on in her bedroom she would undress with the curtains open. I just had to guess she knew and was putting on a show for the younger kid that lived behind her house. But we never met so I was just guessing.


Last edited by Thrill Killer on Sep Thu 07, 2017 12:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
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bonepile



Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Posts: 686

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 3:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great subject! I am not sure when this started probably with action war comics before the comics code (I am now 70 +) when nothing was left to the imagination, and dime novels and detective magazines were everywhere. It has been quite a fruitful subject all my life and it is really wonderful to find so many of us on this site thanks to Geno.

The hard drive on my computer bit the dust four weeks ago with NO backup so lost everything but am back and hope to continue with my contributions in the time ahead.

See you again soon and thanks!
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Jimbo



Joined: 15 Feb 2006
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 10:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I grew up in the Westerns-filled 1950s, seeing an untold number of bad guys biting the dust. (yawn) The women killed were usually undeserving, so whenever a BAD lady cashed in, I thought it somewhat novel.

I would strip naked in the barn and roll around on the hay, acting out "Indian" death scenes. I didn't know what sex was, but it felt good! Very Happy

When I discovered girls as a teen, it was easy to transfer the fetish, seeing all those sexy spy girls of the 60s, many of whom died for me, fueling my dreams further.

That's about it.

Jimbo
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schrieb



Joined: 16 Sep 2014
Posts: 220

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 11:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember there was a topic like this some time ago, but I can't find it right now.

Being 32 years old now I feel kind of youn reading your texts.

I can't put a finger on a special time when "it" really started, I guess it has always been inside of me. I remember having a kids book about "Life underwater" or something, and on one picture there was a diver very close to an old anchor and I imagined him being stuck on it.
Then I always liked to dress up as a cowboy and pretend to be shot.
And we often played with toy guns around our houses and I always "lost" on purpose. All this time, no girls were included though (we were kids, so...).

One of the first scenes including a female death that made me feel sexual arousal I can recall is a german crime series with a young teen girl jumping of a rooftop after being bullied. She was about my age back then and I didn't really understand if it was just "normal" attraction because I began liking girls in a sexual way, or if it was because of her death scene.

Finally, when I saw the death of Jessica Alba at the end of the first season of "Dark Angel" I realised that female death scenes in movies turn me on. I started imagining her dying while "helping myself" in bed at night alone. And her being knocked out several times during "Dark Angel" really turned me on.

Then I found out that there were guys collection movie death scenes and posting them on youtube, then I found those doing there own movies with female death scenes (well, those on youtube like battle reinactments or something) and the first "fetish movie" site I found was Olaf's Amazon Warriors. And then one day I found this board and it really empowered me to not only "accept" but follow my fetish. Also, it helped me figuring out what I prefer and find soooo many more sites.

So far, none of my "real life" friends or family knows about my fetish. I have a feeling that my best friend (female) tends this way, too, but I am not sure so I better keep it to myself.
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randomhell



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 336
Location: USA - Mid-Atlantic

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just turned 67...so not the youngest not the oldest to reply on this topic. The "fetish" (or "fantasy", call it what you like...doesn't matter to me) started when I was about 11-12 years old. I would trace female characters in repose from comic books and add knives or arrows. Also remember having sexual reaction to movies that contained female death scene ("Tarzan and the Amazons", for example). Anyway, I hid my drawings from my parents (obviously), but my mother found some one day. Needless to say they were shocked...so they sent me to a psychiatrist (wanted to be sure they didn't have a little 'Ted Bundy' on their hands). Anyway, the shrink was very nice. Gave me some tests - Rorschach, IQ, etc - we talked a lot and, I remember, he sent out for hamburgers. Apparently this shrink was very enlightened because after 3 sessions, he declared I was "normal" (whatever that is), told my parents not to worry, and sent me home. Well, I took it from that that my "fantasies" were OK - as long as they stayed as fantasies(!)...and they have. So, I've been enjoying these fantasies for the last 55 years. Still prefer to realize the fantasies through artwork (some of you may have seen some of my digital art composites), although I write the occasional story also. The best thing though was to find this community of people who share the 'fantasy'. Helps me to not feel so 'strange' and 'alone' knowing there are others with the same feelings.

My best to you all,

Randomhell
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ruffbark



Joined: 11 Mar 2012
Posts: 42

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 4:01 pm    Post subject: Dying fantasy Reply with quote

Most people are fascinated by dying death in movies books comics drawings paintings . There is so much in movies . Supply demand lots of men and women get aroused sexually watching dying actors . Arrow sword knife stabs with blood in movies and actress shows pain disbelief terror anguish in face expression . Executions in real life draw 1000s of people to watch . Look at old pictures of hangings and you'll see crowds . I find death in real life very sad and I'm sorry for the dying person and survivors . In fantasy pictures movies it is a turn on to see a beautiful nude near nude costumed woman dying . Keep in mind some people like watching dying for real . Myself like beautiful women only deaths dying like Spartan movies . Women warriors fearless brave athletic beautiful body . They die slowly fighting death wanting to live. Amazon warrior Olaf site type fights . No damage to face or maiming body . She is dying stabbed in breast heart bleeding agony moaning crying speaking last words . It is almost like sexual intercourse pelvic thrusting breathing hard seeking orgasm holding hands on wounded area. In movies dying from a arrow or sword actress death throes often resemble sex masturbation for
orgasm . As long as it remains a fantasy there is no harm . Telling people about this fetish? I think many have same desires to watch but won't respond the truth . I've got guy friends that talk about actresses dying in movies shot stabbed hanged tortured arrowed accidents drowned heart attacks etc.. I used to be ashamed about these thoughts . Now I believe anyone with same fetish should embrace . Your likely not ever going to remove it from your brain . Therefore buy the movie clips that turn you on . Go ahead masturbate to the women death dying movie . You can reach orgasm and be satisfied sexually . Others are doing the same to all kinds of sexual desires . Now days there is so much more available online and movies . Years ago it was a hard search for pictures and movie producers had censors blocking face expressions nude bodies and showing wound area bleeding . If you ever want to research old wall carvings statues you'll find ancient soldiers stabbing each other and amazon warriors . Huge paintings are on walls showing civil war soldiers dying from graphic bullet wounds to neck face body . This shows people have thought about killing death pain dying thousands of years ago . Sometimes a leader gets in power killing millions and millions help get it done .
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flavia



Joined: 03 Jun 2016
Posts: 72

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great topic.

I thinks the way we talk here about fantasy and sex. Most things about sex. Suspect built in to human beings. Need to have that feeling of being outside self for a few seconds, wave of something. I not use meth or coke so not sure if dopamine the same exactly, but so there is sex.

But sex is combined with life, like marriage maybes or live together maybes. Work and home and foods and school and more of same. Some people make love and some people f---.

I find sex all itself boring, not impossible boring but ok that was fun but now? I don't smoke so no in bed after smoking. So fetish play like play dead or something is like foreplay for me.

Some friends into Dom.sub thing, also like an add-on to sex, or weaves inside and outside sometimes. Sex is present, being sexual I mean, but not always intercourse. But a tinge ? a whiff? a bit in the air?

This fetish like that to me. An extra something.

So I read like old James Bond books or see old movies and some woman get killed. Eyes open important for me. So I want play her. Be her. Of course spy just moves past dead body. Stop! Play with her! Undress her! Anyway, I see this likes that.
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Alpops



Joined: 30 Aug 2016
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am surprised to read Big Os start date for his fetish! Now me saying that I started around three and a half years won’t sound that preposterous.

I started with sleep fetish then graduated to erotic demise with a postgrad in uniform fetish. laugh

I used to get excited when the leading ladies in soaps suddenly and dramatically fainted, it just felt awesome and didn’t really understand why. Very Happy

Then I remember watching this episode of She Ra princess of power where she gets KOed by Skelletor. I already wanted to be that evil ossified warlord but just imagining the idea of carrying a helpless short skirted Amazonian blonde away opened my eyes to a world of erotic imagination!loveheart



Then finally I saw the 1981 film the Looker, on cable, where this beautiful model is pushed out of window, falls on top of a car and still looks stunning!



A few second later a guy kneels next to the body and caresses her face SOLD!

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Alpops



Joined: 30 Aug 2016
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PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

flavia said:

So I read like old James Bond books or see old movies and some woman get killed. Eyes open important for me. So I want play her. Be her. Of course spy just moves past dead body. Stop! Play with her! Undress her! Anyway, I see this likes that.


You just describe my modus operandi in all my fantasies! 2kissing

Also had a flashback of how frustrated I was with Jerry when he chose action figures over her! mad laugh

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Joe6707



Joined: 10 Oct 2016
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a post about this a little while back the age of your fetish or something like that, like I posted on it, this first started for me when I was about 8 or 9 when jason goes to hell came out there was a scene near the end of the movie when this badass shotgun toting waitress shoots the hell out of jason then proceeds to shove a rebar through his gut though jason being jason this had no real effect he then grabs and pulls her through the rebar driving it through her own gut as shr was dying she defiantly tells him to go to hell through a mouthful of her own blood still my personal favorite my avatar is that scene since then I've been hooked to this fetish, though specifically I like a chick that goes out with a fight like she did bonus points on the talking smack like a go to hell or kiss my ass or something like that as they're dying
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Rick



Joined: 26 Feb 2006
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Sep Thu 07, 2017 9:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all this input but what I'd really like to know is why? What triggered this in us? I know that imprinting in your formative years can occur but I can recall nothing like that.

On the similar thread that has been mentioned, when asked "why" a psychiatrist replied "why not"! There must be more to it than that!
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tombombadil



Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 55
Location: Spain

PostPosted: Sep Sat 09, 2017 9:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I want to say that I am intrigued about the psychological motivation which our inclination relies on.
I think that it must be some kind of association between death and women orgasm which fascinates us.
Besides, a woman being penetrated by a sword, spear or arrow surely rings our inner brain with some similarities with regard to sexual penetration.
Does any of you have any scientific evidence or information about it?
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Phantasma



Joined: 30 Aug 2016
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Sep Sat 09, 2017 2:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I post here very rarely - I usually prefer to be a silent lurker, enjoying the posts and discussion. Been like that since, basically, the very early days of Deadskirts.

This thread, however, is too interesting not to reply to!

To clear things up from the start, my "fetish profile" would be a relatively complex one but, in a nutshell, I enjoy most situations, actions and scenarios that involve some kind of harm coming to a woman's midsection - and especially the aftermath of it. So a punch or a kick leaving the victim double over, holding her stomach and out of breath will be top of my list; Stabbings being right there too. For some reason, I prefer things "up close and personal", so shooting and the likes while enjoyable fall into second place after the above.

To complement all of that I have a thing for strong, competent, athletic and sexily dressed ladies; The very idea of a super-confident, well able to defend herself woman being ultimately overpowered and reduced to a whimpering mess is an ultimate turn on - for reference, check out my DA account if you wish: https://phantasmarosso.deviantart.com/ (you'll need to register/log in as I have marked most things as "adult" to avoid issues).

How it all started, I frankly haven't the faintest idea; It all blends out in my childhood memories, which mostly date back to the 1980s (I'll turn 37 in a few weeks). I shared my fetish(es) with an ex-girlfriend, who while wasn't too shocked nor put off by them (more to that later), immediately and lazily assumed I must have witnessed some "violence" as a kid - it's definitely not the case, I had as sheltered an upbringing as it gets.

I was already at least partially aware of my preferences as soon as I started developing sexuality; There isn't one specific "trigger", although I do remember a couple of episodes in school, during PE, where a stray football ended up hitting one of the girls in the stomach - let's say that, wearing tracksuit bottoms, those were very difficult and potentially embarrassing moments for me :D
By then, however, I was already aware of my "fetishes", although I didn't know the word.

See, we as a species and society try, desperately, to do anything in our power to separate ourselves from animals, but that's what we ultimately are; Even better, humans are apex predators - the fiercest, scariest, most deadly effective killing machine to ever walk this planet; the only one to actively prey on itself, even. No claws, teeth, strength? No problem, there's a thing called brain that more than makes up for them. No T-Rex, afterall, ever came up with automated firearms, jet fighters and h-bombs.

I'm firmly convinced that our lust for violence and bloodshed is mostly innate, written in our DNA - social norms and conventions suppress it to a level, but it's there, lingering, screaming, trying to claw its way out, in men and women alike. Some people acknowledge it, most try to pretend it's not there; The rising popularity of sports such as MMA proves them glaringly wrong: As soon as violence is given an "acceptable" context, people flock to it.

A scenario like the one portrayed in "Westworld" is a very real possibility - if such a theme park existed, be prepared for a LONG waiting list to get inside; Books/movies like "50 shades of grey" and their success prove that women have fetishes just like men do .

As I said, most people try to ignore and suppress their instincts; I'm relatively sure many, many more people have fetishes and paraphilias than they care to admit to themselves.

The ex-girlfriend I shared my fetishes with is a great example: goody two shoes, nearly "tree-hugger" type, all idealism and care, to an almost sickening level; Never done anything outside of "vanilla", she never even heard the word "fetish" before, at the age of 24.

One night she asks me if there was something I really would have liked to do, and I told her. She was a bit surprised, never heard anything like that, but decided to "humor" me. We started role playing, and over the weeks she got into it more and more - it was clear she enjoyed the whole thing as well. Sometimes, her "enthusiasm" surpassed mine and she lost control completely when, for example, play fighting: a couple of times she hit me hard enough that a smaller person would have knocked out; When playing hurt, ko'ed or dead, she'd get soaking wet and have the most earth-shattering orgasms (one night she nearly passed out for real from it, I kid you not). It got to the point that it was her asking to play rough, or coming up with set ups and scenarios, whenever I didn't ask.

All the while, she kept pretending it was "no big deal" to her.

I didn't mean to write an essay, sorry folks - but in a nutshell:

TL;DR: I don't think there's a "trigger" nor a "cause"; I believe humans are naturally inclined towards violence and fascinated by suffering and death. Social norms make this "unacceptable", but some of us are smart enough to be able to go past the "imposed truth". [/b]
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Thrill Killer



Joined: 02 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: Sep Sat 09, 2017 2:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yes Oh yes We started role playing, and over the weeks she got into it more and more. Hope your going to try and keep her. My 2nd young wife was not so much into my fetish, but she did role play it for me in lots of photo sessions. T.K.
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Phantasma



Joined: 30 Aug 2016
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Sep Sat 09, 2017 3:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thrill Killer said:
Oh yes Oh yes We started role playing, and over the weeks she got into it more and more. Hope your going to try and keep her. My 2nd young wife was not so much into my fetish, but she did role play it for me in lots of photo sessions. T.K.


Not a chance - she is long gone, we broke up about 4 years ago. I don't want to be too harsh, she doesn't deserve it, but let's say that in the end, sex was the only good thing about that specific relationship. Outside of that, she was quite manipulative - you know, the old "tears as a bargaining tool" attitude - and a bit of a puppet in the hands of her mother and older sister (two of the most pig-headed people I've ever met).

Also, the "role play" stopped a few months before we broke up - long story short, one night she was talking with a couple of other ladies (one of which was, absurdly, her own sister!) and as the topic about how to "spice up" sex came out, she blurted out what we were doing in the bedroom, in detail no less.

It didn't go down well with the other two, who convinced her it was "wrong" and "abuse"; At least that's what she told me when we had a "clearing the air" talk after we broke up. She actually apologized about basically making our sex life public, but it was too late.

Ps. if you check out my DA account (I make no money out of it, just to be clear), the character of "Marian" i have there is basically her; Also, the first couple of POV stories in "The Weird Life of Mr.K" series are basically recountings of our first two or three role-play sessions.
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tombombadil



Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Posts: 55
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PostPosted: Sep Sat 09, 2017 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Phantasma, I feel very close to you.
I must say that the best sex I used to have was with women who were wicked and/or mad and/or destructive.
If you ever find a woman with whom you happen to have sensational sex, she will probably be your doom in the future.
Sorry for been so philosophical (I am ready to assume criticism and disaproval from any of you)
roll
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Jimbo



Joined: 15 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Sep Sun 10, 2017 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tombombadil said:
I must say that the best sex I used to have was with women who were wicked and/or mad and/or destructive.
If you ever find a woman with whom you happen to have sensational sex, she will probably be your doom in the future.


But, what a way to go!! laugh

Jimbo
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randomhell



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
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Location: USA - Mid-Atlantic

PostPosted: Sep Sun 10, 2017 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rick said:
On the similar thread that has been mentioned, when asked "why" a psychiatrist replied "why not"! There must be more to it than that!


Rick - I still maintain (as I've proposed on several other threads) that there is a very strong link in psyche of most animals (not just humans) between sex and violence. Look at videos of animals having sex...pretty violent. I believe that our "fetish" is a 'proxy' for sex. Other evidence - french phrase for 'orgasm' is "petite mort"...the "little death".

Randomhell
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Jimbo



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PostPosted: Sep Mon 11, 2017 8:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

randomhell said:
... there is a very strong link in psyche of most animals (not just humans) between sex and violence.


I've read where some non-pilots say that "flying is a substitute for sex"... which pilots throw back at them by saying "sex is a substitute for flying!" laugh

You could make the same observation for "sex/violence"... and vice versa. Oh yes

Jimbo
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Malcolm



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PostPosted: Sep Mon 11, 2017 2:39 pm    Post subject: How and why did we develop our fantasies Reply with quote

It’s several years since I posted anything on this board but this thread is too interesting not to join in.

I am grey-haired but not yet wrinkly. I first became interested in this fantasy when I was a teenager. I went to a boy’s school and was the last of my peer group to go through puberty. I was also very shy and introverted so didn’t know much about girls. I suspect that the fantasy arose partly as a reaction to fear of girls and a desire to control them. I had read Greek legends such as the Trojan War and Charles Kingsley’s book “The Heroes” and discovered the legends of the Amazons. Amazonomachy (Amazon battles) were a popular subject in ancient Greek art and sculpture. Scholars who study Greek art explain Amazonomachy and battles with Centaurs as being a conflict between barbarism and Greek civilisation, but I wonder if the ancient Greeks simply shared our fantasies about killing women.

So I began fantasising about battles between Amazons and (male) Warriors. I taught myself to make pencil drawings of battles with Amazons being slain by arrows, spears etc., but never nearly as good as Bernard (Bernie) Cornelis. I suppose that penetrating weapons, such as arrows, swords, spears and knives, have an obvious sexual implication. When I married, the fantasies went right to the back of my mind for over thirty years and only resurfaced when the Internet came along, with sites like Deadskirts and Olaf Winter’s Amazon Warriors. It was a great relief to me to discover that other people, including women, shared my fantasy – that I wasn’t the only one.

I have shared my fantasy with a Counsellor (who I was seeing for other reasons) and he didn’t seem fazed, or worried that they were wrong or bad, but I don’t think he had come across them before. My impression is that people who don’t share our fantasies just never think of them – my wife certainly had not and she doesn’t like them. However, I read somewhere that a detective murder novel will sell ten times as many copies if the victim is a woman and it is women who will buy those extra copies. Perhaps the fantasy of being killed is more widespread among women than we realise.

A bit of amateur psychology: all human beings have a fantasy life. It’s a bonus from having a big brain that allows us to imagine what the future might be like, to plan ahead and even to rehearse in our own minds how an important task like a job interview might go.
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olberon



Joined: 15 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Sep Tue 12, 2017 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I saw a topless Las Vegas ice skating show on HBO called “Spice on Ice” in 1978 as a college sophomore. There was a scene where the girls were skating around topless as pirates, when a battle broke out on the stage between pirates and the NAVY. All the girls went on the stage and were killed with the pirates, dying in provocative positions laying back over boat banisters and such. The hormones took over and my fetish was born.

Never saw it again, and I’m sure my memory enhanced the images incredibly over the years. Not sure I would want to see now, probably not as good as my mind remembers…
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Jimbo



Joined: 15 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Sep Wed 13, 2017 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

olberon said:

Never saw it again, and I’m sure my memory enhanced the images incredibly over the years. Not sure I would want to see now, probably not as good as my mind remembers…


laugh We probably all do that, olberon. Our mind tries to "make it even better".

As for Las Vegas shows, there I once saw "Melinda, First Lady of Magic" and she has been on TV too, like this very suggestive erotic trick:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haCudxoQ79s

Jimbo
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